Transformation

4/26/09


“You can have him help with classes, but that kid will never be a good instructor,” said Master Stone.

“No?” I asked.

“No. He has a horrible temper. I don’t think he’d be able to go 10 minutes in a class of five year olds without his head exploding. I mean, I work with him at the deli, and he loses his temper constantly, and this is just people asking for sandwiches. So… try him out. But he’s going to have a really hard time dealing with kids.”

This was 1997. I was teaching at Middlesex Tang Soo Do in Old Saybrook and looking for a reliable assistant instructor. Josh Hesser, a red belt and high school senior, had approached me about the position. At the time, he was working behind the counter at a market just around the corner. His boss at the market was Master Stone, another instructor at Middlesex.

I trusted Master Stone a lot. He’d been training and teaching forever, and was an all-around levelheaded guy. I’d never seen Josh’s temper flare up during classes – but if Master Stone had doubts…

“Hmm, okay. I’ll see how he does. Thanks.”

I guess I could see what Master Stone was talking about. Josh was a big high school football player and an extremely physical martial artist… and perhaps not the Connecticut shoreline’s next great Eagle Scout. “Rough around the edges” might describe it best. (For details, ask Matt Jacobs who taught at Mr. Hesser’s high school.) But he was eager and willing to listen. On his first day, I gave him a few simple instructions on how to work with kids. Classes went pretty well.

The next day, he wanted more teaching strategy. I didn’t want to overload him, so I gave him one at a time. I realized early on that he never needed to be told anything twice. He simply listened and did it. Pretty soon I found myself being able to leave him teaching by himself for short periods of time. The kids liked him.

                                                             ————————————

I walked into the deli.

“So how’s he doing so far?” Asked Master Stone.

“Really good. He’s a quick learner.”

“Just wait,” he said, handing me my sandwich. “You’ll see. His whole head turns red and then it’s all over.”

                                                               ————————————

It never happened. Josh kept assisting with classes, eventually earning his black belt. Students liked his teaching and his learning curve continued. But then, as it does, life intervened. He graduated high school and left for basic training in the National Guard. But before he left, he said “One day, you’re going to open a school and I’m going to come work for you. Plan on it.”

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He was right. In 2002, I moved to my own school in Norwich. Josh was back from the National Guard and working at the deli again.

That whole first year, I did everything at the school myself. It wasn’t easy, but I brought enrollment up to 100 students. Then, out of nowhere, the phone rang. It was Josh.

“I’m sick of this deli thing. Are you ready for me to start teaching yet?”

“Uh… Hi. Actually, yes.”

                              ————————————

I decided Josh needed “full immersion” and gave him 2 days a week to run classes by himself. I remember the reluctance when he first started teaching. My students were so used to me and my way of doing things… and Josh was so… different. Much louder, more animated, louder, less subtle, LOUDER… I could go on, but you get the picture. It’s not that people didn’t like him. It was just that he was… you know, different.

The phone rings. “Don’t get me wrong, Sir. We like Mr. Hesser just fine. He’s great with the kids. But he’s just not you. We like to have the Senior Instructor around. Mr. Hesser is great but he’s just a first degree. You’re a third degree. Do you see what I’m saying?”

“Yes I do. I agree, Mr. Hesser is doing great. And I understand that you like having me teach classes, but in order for Mr. Hesser to reach his full potential, he needs to teach. He needs to get out there and do it. When I was a beginning Instructor, Master Voelker understood that the only way for me to grow was to give me space. He let me develop on my own. I think we need to give Mr. Hesser that space.”

I literally had that conversation about twenty times the month Mr. Hesser started. I even took my name off the front door of the school and put his up so that everyone knew he was a true Instructor.

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After a couple weeks, those phone calls went away. Completely. The Age of Hesser had arrived. We went from 100 students to 130 within just a couple months. Slowly, I separated myself from the majority of teaching, allowing Mr. Hesser to come on board full time. Now a new type of phone call was coming in – complimentary ones. “Mr. Hesser is SO great with the Little Dragons. You can tell that he loves teaching!”

Not only could he teach, he also took initiative. He was self-directed. He’d call home when a student missed class. He’d take certain kids aside to speak to them if they were misbehaving at school. He started to do things that went beyond simply “teaching karate.” This is what made parents and students love him.

                                                                  ------------------------------

This month, April 2009, we’re celebrating 7 years of training here at the school. Mr. Hesser has been here for six. Since he started with me in 1997, Mr. Hesser has gone from being a “rough around the edges” eighteen year-old high school football player to a twenty-nine year-old Professional Instructor. He owns a house, a separate rental property, and he’s getting married next month. And not only has he matured into a top-notch teacher, he’s begun to learn the business of running a martial arts school. The teenager who didn’t “have the temper for dealing with kids” has transformed into a talented professional who plans to open his own America’s Best Defense school in the future. As a fast learner and an eager “doer”, he is quickly learning everything he needs to run his own successful business.

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We talk about “transformation” a lot in martial arts. Through the physical discipline of training, we begin to realize true changes in our lives. Increased focus, self-control, confidence… the list continues. I’ve seen it more times than I can count as more and more of my students reach Black Belt level.

But there is a more profound transformation that occurs in someone who takes the leadership path in martial arts. You’re not simply training for yourself anymore. Now you’re a role model, a public speaker, an organizer, an athlete, a mentor, a customer service representative, a life-long learner… in short, a “Shining Example”. You are literally forced to embody the tenets of martial arts. Add to that the necessary skills it takes to be a successful business owner, and your personal transformation must literally go to a whole new level. Kiss the security of comfort zones goodbye.

Is Mr. Hesser an entirely different person than he would be if he’d never pursued martial arts professionally? Without a doubt. I know this about him because I know it about me (just ask Master Voelker or Master Jacobs). I believe that his personal growth is continuing at a fast rate and I’m psyched that I’ve been able to give him opportunities in life, and eventually help him with the greatest opportunity: to go into business for himself. I have no doubt that he has what it takes.

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There are A LOT of things I love about martial arts. This blog has gone on long enough without me adding ten pages of details. But I have to say, the thing I love the most, and love to think about most, is the opportunity for real life-changing growth I can provide. Under the tutelage of instructors like Master Voelker, Master Jacobs, Master Garcia, and Bill Montgomery, I’ve come a long way. Mr. Hesser has too. Now, my excitement is for Ms. Fritz and Mr. Tworzyanski, two students who have trained with me since they were young kids and now have ambitions of walking the same path as Mr. Hesser and eventually opening their own ABD schools. They are quickly becoming great instructors, and at an even faster pace than Mr. Hesser or I did.


Yes, the martial arts are transformational and life-changing for those who study; but for those who choose to teach and lead, the transformation is immeasurable. The personal opportunities are great, but the opportunities you can give to others are boundless.

There’s no other business I’d rather be in.

No Crash Pad For The Ego

12/6/08

“Okay boys,” said the Sensei, sitting buddha-like on the bench, “today we’re doing something different.  I brought one of my students to work with you.”

I nodded studiously, fourteen years old and only now starting to lose my baby fat.  With two friends, I’d been taking Judo classes at the YMCA for about five weeks.  We stood across the blue mat from legendary Connecticut Judo coach Lenny LeBlanc and his diminutive purple belt protege.

Sensei LeBlanc, reduced to one leg through a battle with diabetes, taught from his seat.  He took us through falling and rolling, throws and escapes.

With fifteen minutes left, it was time for sparring.  ”What’s your name again?  Chawlie?  You, Chawlie.  You first.”
With no sense of the shark tank I was wading into, I took off my monstrous glasses and headed out.  We bowed, and I felt the ten-year-old purple belt’s fingers bite into my gi.

I don’t remember much after that, only how it ended.  I’m sure he unbalanced me, threw me, and landed on top.  Flailing, I rolled to my stomach, and that was the big mistake: sharks are attracted to flailing.  He clamped a rear choke around my neck and arched back with all his force.  I felt my spine pop like firewood as my hands were dragged off the mat.
Before I could tap out, Sensei Lenny shouted “ma-te!” (stop!).  ”You’re gonna break his back!”

Sensei Lenny LeBlanc

The little monster released his hold and I thumped to the mat.  Dragging myself away, I heard Lenny chuckle and call out the next victim.

Later I realized that we truly were being used as “chum.”  Lenny was preparing his student for a tournament, and three big 8th graders were just the way to get his appetite up.

That was my last week of Judo – not because of the thrashing, but because it was only a six week course.  A month later I signed up for Tang Soo Do, and the rest is history.

                                              ——————–
2008…

I took hold of his gi, and he took hold of mine.

Little did he know, this 14 year old Judo orange belt, that he wasn’t sparring an average white belt.  I’d trained in martial arts before his parents had thought of him.  I had worked with world-renowned masters; won tournaments; studied multiple arts; taught professionally for years.  And though only a white belt in Judo, I’d been in this game a long time.  Been there, done that, and gone through more t-shirts than Drew Carey playing paintball.

All that experience, and a hand-full of repressed anger from that day in 1992, and it was time for action.  ”I’m the shark now,” I said to myself.

Sensei Bill Montgomery said “begin!”  A moment of struggle, then:

My head landed on the mat, followed eventually by my body.  Then he landed on me.

Somewhere, squished under both of us, lay my ego.

——————–

That story more or less happened, but I really didn’t go into it with a big head or bad intentions – only a brand new white belt and gi.   I’ve been training in Judo since the beginning of November.  As an extension of a love for Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, I decided it was a good idea to expand my grappling even further.  Judo is the root system that BJJ came from, but concentrates more on throwing technique than the groundwork that BJJ is known for.

And make no mistake… experience or no, I am a white belt.

I’ve regressed to the long forgotten days of being a true beginner; as the last junior on the left, I’m painfully aware of information-overload, a lack of coordination, and a tip-toeing sense of the etiquette and environment in a Judo dojo.  It requires full attention to grasp the material.  At times I suffer analysis paralysis.  I literally get tossed around by 14 year old boys and 50 year old women (one of my coaches, Joan Love, is 5’3″, 100lbs at best, and can drop me like sack of rocks).
And I love it.  It’s a fun new challenge to learn, to pursue, and enjoy.

However, here’s a warning: entering a new martial art you have little experience in is not for the fragile of ego.  Like your socks, you need to roll that baggage up and leave it in your shoes by the door.

At many points in your martial arts career, your ego must be confronted.  Think about it:  you had to set your ego aside to even walk through the door on your first day.  For every person who enrolls in martial arts, how many think better of it for fear of looking foolish?  You braved that first hurdle, then went on to the joys of not really knowing your left from right, throwing punches like you were pitching lefty, and realizing only after six months that you’ve been tying your belt wrong.

But you made it.  Nice.  You’ve been around a couple years and your confidence is up.  You’re pretty comfortable where you’re at.

But is that really where you want to be?  Comfortable?  Are “comfortable” and “progress” synonymous?  Even now, are you sparing your ego?

Step out of that box.  Step out of it now, because it will be even harder later on.  Spar someone you’ve been avoiding.  Ask your instructor to critique you… really critique you.  Compete.  Ask to be an assistant if the idea of standing in front of class is scary to you.  In short, make being outside your comfort zone a training habit.  Don’t be the one listening to stories about those who have taken the risks – and wishing you had.

To be a good student, training partner, competitor, or better person, you have to get over yourself.  You have to deal with looking foolish, or doing something wrong, or -gasp- getting beaten in competition.  It takes a lot to purposely make yourself vulnerable like that, and you learn far more about yourself by swallowing your pride and risking some temporary bruising to your self-esteem.

You don’t need a hyper 14 year old to spike you on your head to get outside your box.  Just realize when you’re playing it safe and do something about it.  Ask for help if you have to.  Make it your habit inside the dojo so it becomes your habit outside the dojo.

Just watch out for 10 year old purple belts.  They’re attracted to flailing.

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PS: This is where I train:

PPS: I earned my green belt in June 2009.

Bill Montgomery, Charlie McShane, Joan Love

Thanks Adam & Mrs. Still

9/5/08
The deafening roar of the engine stills passers-by. Small children cover their ears as I peel through the parking lot, driving my 2-wheeled intimidator onto the sidewalk in front of the school. I expertly kick the stand, pull the key, and get ready to head inside.

“Where’s your helmet?”

I turn around to find Adam Lattimore. Adam is a Black Belt and a sophomore at NFA.

“I’ve got one, I just… It’s… okay, talk to you later.” I get inside quick.

It’s busy in the school, just toward the end of Advanced Kids class. As I’m kicking off my sandals, Adam’s mother comes out of her seat.

“Master McShane, where is your helmet?”

My excuse (having a big hard Irish head) isn’t satisfactory. “You need a helmet.”

“I have one, I just… you know…”

This episode happened last week. I’ve thought a lot about it, and decided that Mrs. Still and Adam are right. I need a helmet.

Part of me argues that it’s not cool to wear a helmet. Another part says that I couldn’t possibly go fast enough on my 49cc Yamaha to hurt myself. An even dumber part chimes in and says “you’re a trained martial artist, you’ll just dive roll to safety.”

Of course, all of this rationalization is pretty dumb. I should be wearing a helmet. It’s smart to wear a helmet. Even more, a friend got in a motorcycle accident a year ago and would have died if he wasn’t wearing a helmet. But there’s another huge reason: my students see me riding around without one, and it sets a terrible example.

Most Martial Arts Instructors already know what I’m about to say, but it’s worth repeating: You teach more with your actions than with your words.

You can lecture all you want. You can describe, explain, diagram, blah blah blah. But students will learn far more by observing your actions. A good teacher must lead by example; otherwise, his inconsistent actions will erase the meaning of the lessons he preaches.

It’s like I say to my advanced Red Belts. If I tell a group of Yellow Belts that they must practice with intensity and focus, but then they witness Red Belts practicing sloppily, the Yellow Belts will imitate what they see, not what they hear. That’s why being a Red Belt or Black Belt is such an important position; you’re not training just for you anymore. You’re responsible for teaching those Yellow Belts by example. In fact, Yellow Belts are responsible for teaching the White Belts the same way.

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My Chuck Norris shirt screams 'even toughguys ride scooters.'

So Mrs. Still and Adam, I got a helmet. I don’t love it. It makes my head look even bigger.

It creates a ton of wind resistance (which means a lot when your bike only does 30mph), and I look like I should be chasing John Connor around Los Angeles. But I don’t have to like it. I have to set the example. I’m not wearing it just for me.
A week later, I got this email from Mrs. Still:
Master McShane,
Bravo!!!  I was pleased to read your blog entry.  I work as a nurse, and  have all to often seen the  injuries sustained by drivers not wearing helmets.  The sight of your head inside of a helmet is indeed prettier than the sight of the damage done to a precious head left unprotected. It is not just your own actions that you need to worry about, but the actions of everyone else who is on the road(or sidewalk) with you.
Thank-you  for leading by example,
Jennifer Still
Adam Lattimore

Jim Harpe: Force Of Nature

8/25/09

In March 2008, I had a friend do a seminar at my school.

I’ve known Jim Harpe for a number of years.  We met at Royce Gracie Jiu-Jitsu in West Hartford as blue belts, and travelled to Royce’s Coaches Seminars in North Carolina and Florida.

A social worker for the State of Connecticut and ex-Air Force officer, “Shogun Jim” has a pretty remarkable upbringing in 30+ years of martial arts.  He trained with and achieved 2nd Dan under Kancho Ashihara, a full-contact karate pioneer and student of the legendary Mas Oyama (look him up on youtube).  As a personal student of Enshin Karate founder Kancho Ninomiya, Sensei Harpe achieved the rank of 4th Dan Master Instructor in that system.  Kancho Ninomiya is the creator of the famed Sabaki Challenge, where Mr. Harpe served as a head referee for 10 years.

As if that wasn’t enough, the Agawam MA-based Sensei Harpe went to Brazil to learn Jiu-Jitsu – before most Americans had the chance to study this popular art.  Sensei continues to run a school in Agawam, teaching Royce Gracie Jiu-Jitsu, his own Blind Spot Karate, and MMA.

Sensei Harpe teaching kids at America's Best Defense Norwich

 My students loved him.  Though he’s pretty much as tough as you can get, he’s very approachable and went out of his way to make sure each student understood the material.  He taught 2 packed-house sessions, one to kids and one to adults.  His topic was Sabaki redirection and angles for sparring and self-defense, and everyone got a lot out of it.

At the end of the night, I may have embarrassed Sensei Harpe a little.  With students watching, I thanked him for coming and lauded his martial arts accomplishments.  I also mentioned that he was 52, and would soon be traveling to Brazil to compete in the BJJ Senior Masters International Championship.  I thought it was inspirational, and so did my students.
After the seminar, Mrs. Harpe, who had been watching from the sidelines, jokingly asked: “Who is this great person you’re talking about?  Certainly not my husband!”

Sensei Harpe just got back from the tournament in Brazil.  In short, he won.

He took gold in the 200lbs, 50-55 Purple Belt division.  Thing is, he only weighed 182, having trimmed down during intense preparation for the event.  He told me he wasn’t sure what weight he’d be when he applied for the tournament, so he aimed high.  If you’ve never done competitive grappling, that’s a lot of weight to give up.

He also entered the all-weight “Absolute” division.  He won his final match by submission, effecting a quick sweep from guard and finishing with a choke.


At an age when most martial artists are “hanging it up” in one way or another, Sensei Harpe is still extremely active and challenging himself to improve.  He weight trains, grapples, spars, and teaches.  Though many martial artists brag about “battle scars”, I’ve never heard him complain about a long standing injury.  This is a remarkable feat in a sport known for bad knees, shoulders, backs, etc.  He trains hard and really takes care of himself.

I wrote this entry to update my students on Sensei’s victory in Brazil, but also to comment on his place as a role model.  He shows that Martial Arts is not a “youngster’s sport”, something to retire from early.  It’s a lifestyle, a means of personal development and continual improvement.  ”Shogun Jim” is a Sensei in the true meaning of the word: “One Who Went Before”.  With his example, he’s creating a path for us younger martial artists to follow and look up to.

If you ever get the chance to train with him, or even talk to him, do it.  Just don’t challenge him to a leg-kicking contest.

I'm Going To Talk About Someone Behind Her Back (Don't Tell Her)

7/28/08

This post might get me into a little bit of trouble.

Today, I want to talk about someone behind her back.  Actually… that’s technically not true, because she receives these emails like everyone else.

I want to talk about Barbara Cedio.

Even if you’re not in the Adult class, you’ve probably seen Barbara around.  She’s been training at NMA for about 5 years, and her daughter Vinessa is in the teen class.  They’re at almost every NMA event and party.

Barbara has been around martial arts for a long time.  She first started training about 15 years ago with Master David Sgro in New London, achieving the rank of red belt in Tang Soo Do before Master Sgro moved to North Carolina.  A few years later, Barbara came to NMA looking to further her martial arts education.  Unlike most previously-trained people, there was no discussion of Barbara retaining her old red belt.  She wanted to start over at white again, because she felt rusty.

To put this in perspective: every once in a while I’ll get a call from someone who studied… I don’t know, Shaolin Kempo or something… and they’ll say “So… I haven’t trained in 20 years.  Will I get to keep my purple belt?”  And I’ll have to explain “No, because the system you studied during the Reagan Administration is totally different from what we teach here.  If you’re really good, there’s a chance of you moving up through the ranks faster.  A chance.”

However, because Barbara had previous experience in the same art under a reputable instructor and it had only been a couple years, I would have had no problem restarting her at red.  But she simply didn’t want it.  She wanted to start over and be thorough.

Over the last 5 years, I’ve found this to be a good example of Barbara’s character.  She’s thorough and steady and a hard-working student.  A self-admitted “slow-learner”, Barbara has told me she has spent hours at home, working on a single form or technique (I’ve told her that I don’t believe in slow learners, just careful ones).  After a hard adult class, she and Dawn Allen run the steep hills in the neighborhoods behind the school.  Strangely, they frequently encounter wildlife (aka big dogs and SKUNKS) but still run those hills after every class, completely of their own volition.  Instead of using big German Shepards as an excuse not to run, Barbara said “It was perfect because I’ve never run that fast, ever.”

Barbara, who is… ahem… cough… 39-and-a-half-ish, tries out her techniques on her military-trained 20 year old son to make sure they work.  If they don’t, she tells me and asks how to improve.

Black Belt is looming for Barbara.  She’s a red-black belt, and could be training for Black right now.  However, she told me her round kicks aren’t where she wants them to be, so she’s going to hold off until they’re better.

That’s dedication.  I’m sure she wants that Black Belt.  She’s been involved in martial arts for a long time, but she’s unwilling to accept anything less than her best before she goes for that belt.  That’s awesome.  That’s a real martial artist.

But wait, there’s more.

Barbara is fairly quiet and unassuming.  Don’t get me wrong… she hits HARD and can be aggressive when she needs to.  But for the most part, she doesn’t rock the boat.  So when I asked her a couple months ago to teach part of a really big Women’s Self-Defense class, she knew she was out of her element.  You may have heard that most adults fear public speaking more than death, and as someone who’s gone through Toastmaster’s training, I believe it.  Yet, as uncomfortable she might have been, Barbara committed to going through with it.  She practiced, she trained, she sweated, but ultimately she got up in front of about 40 women and did an awesome job, without a glimpse of the butterflies in her stomach.  She took the whole thing as a challenge, faced it, conquered it, and tucked it under her belt.

Barbara has some days off from work in August.  What’s she going to do with that time?  Hit the beach?  Hang at home?  No.  She’s going to America’s Best Defense in MA to train for 25 hours in Muay Thai, Krav Maga, and Haganah, learning gun defense, knife fighting and sparring JUST FOR FUN.

The reason I wrote this lengthy post is, I got an email from Barbara on Sunday.  She apologized for not being in class last week because she was practicing and testing for her motorcycle license (which she aced).  She said “Always been a firm believer that if you’re going to do something, you might as well prepare yourself as best as you can beforehand.”   In the next sentence she mentioned that Sunday was her 25th wedding anniversary, adding “Not only be prepared for life but to stick with it I say….(It helps my husband is a really nice guy).  Back to class as usual (and the hill) on Monday!!!”.   That’s Barbara, alright.  Thorough, self-motivated, and hardworking.

So Barbara, even though your face is probably redder than your belt right now, I want to say that I appreciate you as a student.  You set a great example for everyone else associated with our school, not only students, but parents as well.  I thank you for being a great role model and for making my job easier.

And Barbara, please don’t hit me for writing this email.  There are only 200+ people reading it.

PS: (11/29/10) Barbara recently underwent four days of rigorous training to become a Tran's Muay Thai level 1 Instructor, and starting this week will be teaching her own class here at ABD Norwich.  Rumor has it, she's thinking about testing for second-degree in the near future.

Enjoy The Obstacles

7/23/08

In my martial arts school, I have two teenage kids testing for 2nd degree Black Belt.

I prefer to make testing more of a process than an event. My students have a much more valuable experience if they develop a performance mindset in the months leading up to testing; in other words, if they learn to “get in the zone”. So rather than having one big day of testing, the whole thing takes AT LEAST 3 months, with 2 qualifying exams before the actual date. I call the 3 month preparation experience “Bootcamp”.

I’ve noticed some interesting things coaching bootcamp, and one phenomena is almost universal: There’s always at least one major obstacle standing between a student and their Black Belt. Maybe it’s bad kicking habits, or trouble remembering required curriculum. It might be poor conditioning (although anyone going for Black Belt better be in shape), or even psychological. Whatever it is, each person has their own “stumbling block”. Annoying, discouraging, aggravating, but true. And essential.

The obstacles between where you are and where you’re going are essential for you to grow.

Becoming a Black Belt should be a transformational experience. On the other side, you should be able to look back and say “I am different than I was before”. And the only way for this to happen is to get past your obstacles, physical or mental. My ultimate goal in coaching a student to Black Belt is to change their self-image for the better, and conquering roadblocks is a great way to make those changes. In fact, these obstacles are so necessary that I’ve been known to create them for students who had it too easy.

Both of my two 2nd Degree Candidates came to Bootcamp with different issues. One is the most naturally gifted jump-kicker in the school, but lacks eye-focus. The other is extremely strong and athletic, but has had trouble conquering the hip technique required for round and side kicks. These are major issues, and all other abilities aside, will cost them their 2nd Degrees if not overcome. Their obstacles, through Bootcamp training, have been clearly illuminated and now must be conquered.

Will they rise to the challenge? I don’t know. Only if they want it bad enough.

And that’s where self-image is changed.